ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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