32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
