Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
