I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
