So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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