I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
my sisters under your porch take her home
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
