I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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