Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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