i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
