I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
