Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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