Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I need to align my fucking chakras
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