i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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