dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
