My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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