Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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