if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
