i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
