Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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