hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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