he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I want to be your penis for a week.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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