definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm at about main and main street
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
