I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
