ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I smell like Dick and happiness
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
