Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
