I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
