Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
