I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
