Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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