So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
