Swine flu. Run for my life!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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