Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
