How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
