dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I am one with the molecules
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My vagina just clenched in fear
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
