So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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