i jhust puked up my retainher.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
