Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize