just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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