I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
