no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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