Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
