Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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