Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
