and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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