yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
