my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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