What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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