oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize