Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
