How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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