Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
