White coat. Heels.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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