"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
