**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
