$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
